Race can be a divisive topic in Bermuda these days, but one racerelated event brings everyone together: the Non-Mariners’ Race. That title is misleading. It is not a race. It’s not for sailors. Officially, it’s not anything. The annual Non-Mariners’ Race occurs (one can’t say “is held”) in Mangrove Bay and coincides with the end of the Cup Match holiday. It is traditionally accompanied by the drinking of alcoholic beverages, with beer holding a scared place in this regard. The non-sailors set off from the Sandys Boat Club at the Island’s West End, if they feel like it. Whatever crosses the finish line first (most entries could not be called boats) is automatically disqualified. Many vessels sink, which is considered a badge of honour. If all goes well, the race becomes a descent into maritime chaos in the name of good fun, for the benefit of charity. Large crowds usually attend, on land and at sea. As befits a non-event of this nature, the origins of the race are shrouded in apathy. Some hold that it began when the man revered as the first and greatest Non-Mariner of them all, Sir George Somers, grounded his vessel The Sea Venture on Bermuda’s reefs in 1609. Fittingly, a period of nonactivity followed that inaugural race and lasted more than 370 years before the annual tribute to Sir George and all that is incompetent in the world of marine activity was resuscitated. Anything that floats may enter the race. Non-boats are not as closely scrutinised as they are at more formal events. The vessels have humorous names and are (un)manned by non-crews, often dressed in ludicrous noncostumes. It has become traditional over the years for satirical political messages to be daubed on sails or any other surface, poking fun at recent events, extreme examples of Bermudian folly, or any subject that crosses the non-participants’ minds. Political criticism that might otherwise be considered indelicate or dangerous is often aired at the non-race. The directness of some of the comments can shock. The Non-Mariners’ Race may prove to be the last bastion of the rapidly-declining freedom of speech in Bermuda. The Premier’s mooted Stalinist Media Council will probably put an end to all this. The humour is in the great British tradition of Punch and Judy, poking fun at authority while acknowledging its importance. Bermuda takes itself quite seriously most of the time, and the Non-Mariners’ Race is a healthy breeze of fun in the hot summer season, a way of sticking one’s tongue out without fear of consequences (other than sinking). People are healthiest when they can laugh at themselves. Prizes of small amounts of beer are, of course, not the lure that attracts non-sailors to the non-event, and a brass spigot is awarded to the nonwinner. The White Heron crew may have won the trophy more than 20 times, or lost it, depending on your point of view. In 2005, the spigot was stolen. Race non-organisers aptly described themselves as “completely not surprised”.

2010 Archives

Jogging remains a big deal - click here

Business of Charities - click here

Rims 2010 - click here

Business - click here

Beer - click here

Ah, The GOMBEYs - click here